My Post-Apocalyptic Fantasy World

Ok, so I have a slight obsession with living in a post-apocalyptic world, and I don't think I'm the only one.  There are dozens of post-apocalyptic films, books, comic books, and video games in existence, and more being released all the time.  And while my obsession lends itself to many obsessions I have: writing scripts, learning to shoot guns, getting in better shape, learning to grow food, etc., there is one thing that my post-apocalyptic fantasy world has influenced the most, my wardrobe choices.

I secretly wish to dress as though I live in a post-apocalyptic world on a daily basis.  And with my obsession effecting my dreams on a bi-nightly basis, I've decided to write this post detailing everything you need to survive in a post-apocalyptic world:

1. Sturdy and comfortable footwear.  I'm not talking your everyday Nike Crosstrainers.  I'm talking Doc Martens that you can hike miles in, and still crush a zombies* skull with.  Or better yet, Frye boots.  Milla Jovovich wore them in Resident Evil, and I wear my all up and down the streets of Williamsburg.  My next purchase will be these ones, which are perfect for kicking down doors, walking over rubble, and scaling rocky cliffs.

2. Pair these boots with a pair of smart-wool socks, which means, make sure you try your apocalypse boots on with thick socks.  Also, you're going to want to have an extra pair.  There is nothing worse then wet socks while trying to outrun a zombie.

2. The second thing is probably a very sturdy pair of pants.  There is a reason jeans were created during the industrial revolution, they are reliable, durable, and movable.  A great alternative is a pair of Carhartt's, which unless you live in farmland you've probably never worn, but they are the go-to gear for ranchers, farmers, and cowboys.  And they are durable enough to resist a zombie bite.

3. The upper body secret for a apocalyptic dressing is layers.  I suggest cotton underneath, probably a light tank top or t-shirt.  Also, you want to go with dark colors, trust me on this, it's not like you'll have access to a washer/dryer, take a cue from Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2.

4. The second upper layer is key.  This is where you want to add a thin sweater for insulation.  But make sure it's not too oversized/long/flowy.  You don't want that to get caught on anything when you're in a pickle.

5. The outer layer.  I suggest leather.  Leather is durable, zombies will have more difficulty biting through it, and it basically looks super badass.

6. Post-apocalyptic accessories.  Sunglasses- polarized, good fitting, only use them during the day, we don't need no Corey Hart's post-apocalyse.  A sturdy leather belt- chances are, after the end of the world, you won't have a lot of access to food and you might need a belt when your pants start sagging.  A watch (just kidding, watch batteries will be too tough to find post-apocalypse, you're better off using the sun).

7. Functional post-apocalyptic accessories include packs, slings, and holsters.  However, that is a whole different subject that I will save for another edition.

Milla Jovovich in Resident Evil: Extinction.

She designed her own costume for this film, complete with sexy boots, knife holsters, and lots of earth tone layers, perfect for fighting off hoards of zombies in the Vegas desert. 

So there you have it.  Dressing for a zombie apocalypse in a few easy steps.  While you may have greater and cheaper access to all these supplies once the end of the world happens, I suggest building your collection now.  If nothing else, you look super bad ass and totally hipster pre-apocalypse.


*Disclaimer: The apocalypse I am referring to will most definitely be zombie/disease/looting and pillaging related.